i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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