yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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