I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Please, let me fuck your mom
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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