After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
