He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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