was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize