she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize