There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So squirting runs in the family.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
