it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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