we're blogging at a bar
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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