is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
