nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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