Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize