I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
