I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
