Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
