So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
