i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
