i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
