Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
pop tarts are not kleenex
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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