I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
