I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
