using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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