Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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