The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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