Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
