It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
