office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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