He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
