Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How does one acquire holy water?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
