areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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