I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize