peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize