Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
