where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
