Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
