is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
