I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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