I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
