it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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