I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You did what with his pubic hair?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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