You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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