I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
