butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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