yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
