Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
