Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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