One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize