My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
