if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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