Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
