I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
