More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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