If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
