It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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