I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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