hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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