ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
