I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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