went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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