Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You made out with two different species that night
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
