Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
