Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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