Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
